noojo

“So, if you’re so smart, why didn’t you invent YouTube?”, said my Mother-In-Law.

I cringed at this assault on my intelligence and perhaps even my manhood. Was she dissapointed that her daughter wasn’t married to a billionare by now? I felt like a racehorse at the track being cursed by bettors after losing the trifecta.

My mind raced. Why did she say that? I started trying to figure out how I could answer her question in a manner she could understand. Should I explain that working at a startup is harder than she could possibly realize? Should I mention the risk involved? The fact that I dont even know how to begin to get venture capital? Should I even bother to mention that I’m under contract not unlike this poor schlub and that I even if I tried the entire thing would be owned by someone else?

No, as with most of my relatives, I know that my response will need to be no more than 10 words, preferably all monosyllabic. I say, “I guess I’m not as smart as you thought.” Then, as a foolish afterthought I add, “Besides, I already have a full-time job.”

Undaunted, she retorts, “You could do it in your spare time.”

I have not mastered the cult of personality that makes people think youre a success. I continually fail my relatives tests of my skills, such as:

• Refusing to help them pirate DVDs: “Why dont you just sign up with Netflix instead? You can watch all the DVDs you want without commiting a felony.”
• Refusing to help them pirate software: “You know I’m a Software Developer, right?”
• Helping them with their HDTV: “No, the black bars on the sides of the image are there because not all the content is in true HD, so they pad it with black when they…oh, allright. Go ahead and stretch the image to fill the screen. (sigh.)”

I give up. I admit it. I’m an idiot. You’ve found me out.

I need a beer.

Here’s an old poster I forgot I had…click on it so see it bigger.

There are alot of great sites on the net for making custom tshirts, but all of them suffer from the same core problems:

• they have limited tshirts to choose from.
• you must place the image where they say to.
• it will cost you at least $20 bucks to find out the design doesnt look so hot after all.

Also there’s alot to be said for the immediate gratification of a one-off iron-on!

So, here are my tricks for getting the best results:

1. Make your design with a white background, at least 150dpi (300 is better).
2. Check your printer drivers “advanced settings” or “properties”. Usually they will have settings for TShirt Transfers that will not only put the printer into High Quality mode, but also reverse the image for you.
3. Using an x-acto knife, cut out the design from the transfer paper. Leave a small border of space around the edges. You dont need to cut perfectly on the lines.
4. Get the iron pre-heated on its hottest setting. Make sure your surface is clean and low enough for you to press down on really hard.
5. Position your design wherever you want on the shirt. This is the best part of this process vs. the online vendors. Remember you can print out extra designs for a sleeve patch or collar border - whatever.
6. Iron directly on the transfer. Dont put anything between the iron and the shirt. You want all the heat you can get. Press down really hard while you move the iron around. Dont linger, or you’ll burn the shirt. Keep this up for about 3 minutes. The idea here is to melt the glue off the backing and into the shirt fabric a bit instead of just onto the top layer. This will make it last longer and help prevent cracking.
7. Remove the shirt from the ironing area and allow it to cool. Once its cool, take your xacto blade and gently pry up one of the corners/edges of your design. Peel off the paper slowly.

That’s it! It’s a little tricky, but fun to do and pretty cheap as well. It’s also a great way to prototype a design you might want to sell online, or a fun way to trick out a holloween costume.