If you’re so smart, why didn’t you invent YouTube?
“So, if you’re so smart, why didn’t you invent YouTube?”, said my Mother-In-Law.
I cringed at this assault on my intelligence and perhaps even my manhood. Was she dissapointed that her daughter wasn’t married to a billionare by now? I felt like a racehorse at the track being cursed by bettors after losing the trifecta.
My mind raced. Why did she say that? I started trying to figure out how I could answer her question in a manner she could understand. Should I explain that working at a startup is harder than she could possibly realize? Should I mention the risk involved? The fact that I dont even know how to begin to get venture capital? Should I even bother to mention that I’m under contract not unlike this poor schlub and that I even if I tried the entire thing would be owned by someone else?
No, as with most of my relatives, I know that my response will need to be no more than 10 words, preferably all monosyllabic. I say, “I guess I’m not as smart as you thought.” Then, as a foolish afterthought I add, “Besides, I already have a full-time job.”
Undaunted, she retorts, “You could do it in your spare time.”
I have not mastered the cult of personality that makes people think youre a success. I continually fail my relatives tests of my skills, such as:
- Refusing to help them pirate DVDs: “Why dont you just sign up with Netflix instead? You can watch all the DVDs you want without commiting a felony.”
- Refusing to help them pirate software: “You know I’m a Software Developer, right?”
- Helping them with their HDTV: “No, the black bars on the sides of the image are there because not all the content is in true HD, so they pad it with black when they…oh, allright. Go ahead and stretch the image to fill the screen. (sigh.)”
I give up. I admit it. I’m an idiot. You’ve found me out.
I need a beer.
October 14th, 2006 at 2:54 am
Don’t be too hard on yourself, there are many idiots out there too, me being one of ‘em..haha
Cheers
October 14th, 2006 at 3:56 am
heh, no the feeling buddy.. my mother-in-law does the same thing.. only in her case she doesn’t come right out and say it.. she’s just making idle conversation, if you know what i mean
October 14th, 2006 at 4:17 am
I have a quip back for you. If she’s ever played the lottery, and never won, then why has she not managed to do that? She could do that anytime as well! If she’s never done this or something similar … smile … and walk away.
October 14th, 2006 at 4:27 am
Tell her that her daughter demands so much cunnilingus you barely have time to go your day job. Then ask if your lips look swolen.
October 14th, 2006 at 4:32 am
Just being a software developer is hardly sufficient reason to refuse. Being a copyright law supporter might be. Don’t confuse the two!
Mind you, I’m a software developer who opposes copyright law, but I STILL would refuse to help - as I’d still be helpiong increase the mindshare of software/films written by copyrightists instead of free-as-in-liberty software/films.
Microsoft would MUCH rather people use pirated copies of windows than freely copyable linux!
“Without copyright law the GPL would be unenforceable. It would also be unnecessary”.
October 14th, 2006 at 6:58 am
Your mother in law has no respect, probably not for herself either. A remark like that needs no answer, actually she doesn’t ever need an answer to any of her wayward Questions. I feel so much better now that my mother in law won’t even visit us anymore. Well that’s because she gets the silent treatment. I was told on many occasions that I don’t take proper care of my husband its my fault we don’t have children. Well now she knows nothing of my life with my husband and we are all better off for it. So in-laws out there be careful who you insult and what the motives are you could lose your kids for good!
October 14th, 2006 at 8:17 am
There’s something you need to know. There are three founders of youtube, all of whom became millionaires several years ago because they were early employees of paypal and paypal was purchased by ebay. They had 67 employees at youtube yet never made any money there but they had the financial backing of a venture capital organization, Sequoia. Youtube was a failed business model, just like any business that doesn’t make money. The shares given to the Youtube kids represent nothing more than confidence of the money that Google will make by not having to compete with Youtube, a failed business.
This is not money you go out and make, or earn. This is a play on the confidence that the people who invest in the stock market make that Google is a stronger company without competition. It is also a play on the confidence that the people in the venture capital company can get the stock market to invest a lot more money in Google because of its move in removing a competitive player from the on-line video arena than they invested in YouTube to get it to the point where it was better known for on-line video than google was.
Without the stock market, the biggest ‘confidence game’ in the world, there is no way this would have happened. In a world where you have to actually go out and earn your money, and make a profit, this would never have happened. Tell your mother this.
October 14th, 2006 at 9:10 am
AnnoyingRelativeAssassinationTube
I’ll be your first customer.
October 14th, 2006 at 11:26 am
I know EXACTLY how you feel.
My mother in law thinks she really is the best thing in the world, she probably tihnks shes more important than Jesus Christ or God or any other daiety those reading this might believe in.
The great thing is, my missus hates her just as much, if not more so, than I do.
October 14th, 2006 at 12:43 pm
[…] If you’re so smart, why didn’t you invent YouTube? […]
October 14th, 2006 at 1:38 pm
everytime i read such thoughts from someone , almost 99% is due to mother in law. why only mother in laws are from heaven …
why not mother. I am a bachelor, that why the story behind this ‘in-law’ is hidden from me.
can i suggest something? , did you ever read Stephen R Covey try him
i am among fans of Paul Graham
read his articles and i hope, you will be one starting a startup.
i am now in founders list of startups …
good day,
Usman
October 14th, 2006 at 2:34 pm
Wouldn’t the correct response be something like “Because I’ve been too busy pampering your daughter”? Or maybe some other verb in place of pampering?
October 14th, 2006 at 2:38 pm
I think there’s a Dilbert strip somewhere where Dilbert’s mother asks Dilbert why he hasn’t made big as a software developer yet. Dilbert turns the tables and asks his mother why she hasn’t written any great cookbooks yet.
Then Dilbert sneakily suggests the title “Cooking with too much salt”
October 14th, 2006 at 4:49 pm
Don’t feel bad. Smart people don’t invent things like youtube. A smart person would consider all the problems and obstacles to success. Questions a smart person might ask: What about the hosting costs? How do we avoid copyright infringement? How do we actually make money?
Youtube was and is a scam. They basically built something that is absurdly easy to copy, massively expensive to run, makes no money and is liable to be sued out of existence. They got lucky and hit the right point in the IT hype cycle and flipped it. They did not build a successful, ongoing business, they did not acheive anything of technical merit.
Youtube should not be held up as an example of entrepreneurial success. You could go out tommorrow and commit fraud or any number of crimes and get rich. People do this everyday, should they be lauded for their wealth?
October 14th, 2006 at 6:16 pm
“I just did not feel like, maybe next week I will do it”
October 14th, 2006 at 6:33 pm
Believe it or not, I was sitting around the house with my parents-in-law, who were IN THE PROCESS OF CHASTISING ME about not inventing YouTube, when I saw this on reddit. SIGH
October 15th, 2006 at 12:02 am
I’ve been pretty busy lately working on an idea during my spare time that just might wind up be the most profound waste of time in the history of humankind. So, what’s this YouTube stuff?
October 16th, 2006 at 11:02 am
If she’s so smart, why didn’t she introduce her daughter to the guys who did invent YouTube?
November 1st, 2006 at 10:40 am
Reminds me of the following joke -
For years my aunts and uncles used to come up to me at weddings, elbow me, and say, “You’re next. You’re next.”
That is until I started saying “You’re next. You’re next” at family funerals.
November 14th, 2006 at 8:17 am
Why are you writing blogs and not inventing YouTube?